Our holy father St. Benedict has a chapter in his Rule that
begins with this line –
“The life of a monk
ought to be a continuous Lent.”
If I had read this chapter first when I was looking at
Benedictine life, I’m not sure I would have entered! It’s a good thing it is waaaaayyy back in chapter 49. The thought of my life being a
continuous Lent would not have exactly been a great attraction for me.
And then dear Benedict goes on to say, “Since few, however, have the strength for this…
Hmmm…again, not exactly a line that offers comfort.
The Lenten imagery of desert, asceticism, ‘giving up’, etc.
actually reminds me a lot of discernment.
Only discernment lasts for more 40 days!! God knows at the time I wish it would not have taken me so
long to figure out ‘what I should do with my life.’
God often leads us out into the desert when we begin our
discernment. The Gospel reading
for the upcoming First Sunday of Lent gives us Mark’s version of Jesus‘ time in
the desert. During my
discernment I was tempted with –
“God doesn’t REALLY have a special plan for you”
“You are too independent to be in religious life, your
spirit will be squelched”
“You won’t be happy giving up all your freedom”
“You will miss not having a husband and children”
and on and on…
It is the desert times, though, that strengthen us for the
real task ahead. To stand firm
against the negative thoughts about our faith or religious life from our own
ego, Satan or from our culture makes us stronger, not weaker.
Since I’ve been hanging around now for 18 years in the
monastery, I’ve also come to a better understanding of what Lent is and why
Benedict may have said what he said. Lent is about trying to recognize and push
aside the obstacles/things that distract us from seeing God. Discernment is similar in that we need
to recognize the obstacles and distractions that would divert us from our ‘call.’
A blessed Ash Wednesday to everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment