Dog days of summer

I did some traveling last weekend to another Benedictine monastery where I had never been  - Annunciation Monastery in Bismarck, ND.  Perhaps not too many people would be excited about going to Bismarck, North Dakota, but I was.  I figured because it was further north,  it would be cooler than the 100 degree temps we had been experiencing in Missouri.

So when I got there I stepped out into...100 degree weather.  However, just like they say in Arizona, it's a dry heat.  Oh well.   The Benedictine hospitality, a lovely cruise on the Missouri River (between meetings) and watching a gorgeous sunset over the Missouri River valley made up for the hot weather.

This is our first summer in our renovated monastery here at Clyde.  We put in an updated HVAC system so now we actually have air conditioning in all of the rooms.   Previously, we had some select rooms with AC such as our refectory, chapel, library and some offices with computers.  In our old monastery temperatures would get up to 90 degrees on 3rd floor where most of our bedrooms were...and with a humidity of what felt like 99.9%!  I would spend most of my summer sleeping in a 1st floor guest room that was about 10 degrees cooler or on the floor of a room that had a window AC unit.

St. Benedict was mindful that summer heat could call for a change in the normal Rule.   In Chapter 40 - The Proper Amount of Drink he states, "The superior will determine when local conditions, work or the summer heat indicates the need for a greater amount."  (this was in the days when they drank mostly wine and so he also had to be concerned about his monks not becoming drunk...but then again Italians STILL drink a lot of wine.)  And in Chapter 41 - The Times for the Meals he states, "Indeed, the abbot may decide that they should continue to eat dinner at noon every day if they have work in the fields or if the summer heat remains extreme."  (this was in the day when the first meal would be about 3:00 in the afternoon on Wednesdays and Fridays because those were the days they fasted)   Apparently breakfast was not eaten centuries ago in Benedict's monastery...the first meal was at noon or mid- afternoon and was the only meal during certain seasons.  

Our sisters who entered in the 1940's and 50's were the tough ones of the bunch.  They talk of having to work out in the gardens in the hot sun picking beans wearing their full length black habits.   I guess since sun screen hadn't been invented, it at least kept their skin safe!

What we really need is rain.  Sadly, many of the farmers have no crops now after this extended drought.  Last August we had a terrible hail storm which wiped out many fields.  To have 2 years of crop failure is a hard thing to stomach.  

We are praying for cooler temps and much needed rain...

Holding the place of Christ...

We had another splendid monastic experience here at Clyde the first week in July.  Of course, it also happened to be one of hottest weeks we've had this summer.   When our visitor from Louisiana returned home, it was 10 degrees cooler than it was in Missouri...there is just something NOT right about that!    I guess the heat made me lethargic, I was unable to come up with a blog last week!  

The community did get a chance to taste authentic Cajun style red beans and rice with sausage.  Our Louisiana visitor helped me make some for our weekly free night.  Every time I turned my back she was adding more Cayenne pepper or Creole Seasoning.   "Stop it!", I would yell.   She would just shrug and smile...

It ended up being very good but was right on the edge of what I can tolerate for 'heat.'  What can I say?...I'm from the midwest, we don't make our meat and potatoes fire engine hot.   Our other Louisiana native, Sr. Maria Victoria, thought it was great, of course.  One poor sister (of Irish ancestry) took a sample not realizing it was a bit on the toasty side and only managed one mouthful.   Needless to say, it's good for we Clyde-ians to be exposed to new foods.

It is a busy July for us...we had the monastic experience, we celebrated the Solemnity of St. Benedict last Wednesday, and now we have an election for prioress (our equivalent to an abbot) this week.  St. Benedict says much about the abbot in his famous Rule.  Here is what he says in Chapter 2 - Qualities of the Abbot:

To be worthy of the task of governing a monastery, the abbot must always remember what 
his title signifies and act as superior should.  He is believed to hold the place of Christ in 
the monastery...

Now THAT is a daunting task if ever there was one...HOLDING THE PLACE OF CHRIST.   Who the heck can fit that bill?  Needless to say, not many members of a community readily jump at the chance to 'hold the place of Christ' as superior.   These are some of the qualities St. Benedict lists for a superior:

• Goodness of life and wisdom in teaching,
• learned in divine law, chaste, temperate, merciful
• prudent and one who avoids extremes
• strives to be loved instead of feared
• should not be excitable, anxious, obstinate, jealous and over suspicious
• arrange things so the strong have something to yearn for and the weak nothing to run from

I've never met a superior who had EVERY quality thought necessary for leadership of a monastery.   That person doesn't actually exist.  Well he did exist at one time on earth, Jesus was (and still is) his name.   


As Benedictines we choose to live under a prioress.  We choose to trust that the superior can mediate the will of God for us as she leads our community.  The key word is 'choosing to trust.'   We all want our superiors to be perfect and think like WE do.  One look at the people Jesus chose to hang out with lets us know that God does not pick perfect people or even people who get a long with each other to lead the flock.   They seemed to fight/compete among themselves a fair bit...poor Peter got called 'Satan' by Jesus...the flock has always been unruly and will continue to be so.


Ultimately God IS doing the leading no matter who the superior might be.

Surely knot I, Lord

In the midst of preparing for our Monastic Experience here at Clyde, MO this week, I ran across the following 'Knot prayer' which I think can be helpful when discerning:

Dear God:

Please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots, might nots that may find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and 

should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,

Dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind,

my heart and my life 

all of the ‘am nots’

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.

Amen

Author known to God

This got me to thinking about how knotted up our lives can be and how many 'nots' we may let rule us.  We quite easily tie our knots by the choices we make.   Sometimes women feeling the call to religious life think they are not worthy or good enough because of past choices.  I tell them, "My dear,  EVERYBODY has a skeleton in their closet."

For some reason we forget that Jesus came to call sinners, not the righteous!

The biggest enemy to our spiritual life is the 'knots' and 'nots' in our minds and hearts as suggested in the prayer above.  Every "I am not or I can not...etc,"  ties a little knot in our mind re-inforcing the 'not'.   


I told God straight up when I first felt a call, "I canNOT do that."  


The father of one of our Sisters used to tell his daughters when they were young how nice it would be if one of them became a nun.  This Sister used to say, "Well it's NOT going to be me.  


I'm not quite sure how, but God did manage to untie that little 'not' in both of us to get us on the right path.   I suppose we had to let God grab both ends of the rope and untie.


So, God wants to know, are you going to let knots and nots rule your life??